Tears of a Hacker
by Randall Flagg2000
Summary: Ed must come to terms with herself over Ein's death. The thing is, she is the one who caused it in the first place. Better then it sounds. Please read. I beg of you.


This is not for Ein lovers. You have been warned. I am still working on my story "The Gale is now a Breeze", but this is just until I get an idea for the next part. I don't own Cowboy Bebop or anything even slightly related to it.  
  
Summary: The loss of a loved one is always hard. It is even harder when you are the reason they died. But what if you didn't mean it? A grieving Ed must come to terms with herself over Ein's death. Better then it sounds.  
  
-Randall Flagg2  
  
"Ed said go away!" Ed screeched angrily from her room at the closed doorway to it behind which stood Spike.  
  
"C'mon, you have to come out sometime Ed! You can't stay walled up in there forever." he protested from outside.  
  
"Leave Edward alone!" Ed snarled, kicking the door, making it rattle. Spike sighed. He really wished she would come out of her room besides for relieving her system. Still, he couldn't blame her for wanting to be alone. Ever since that day two weeks ago, Ed had refused to leave her room out of sadness. He imagined if he had experienced such a thing, he would feel the same way. Whatever the case, there was clearly no point in trying to console Ed.  
  
"Fine! Be that way!" he scowled and walked off. Ed listened to his feet clock against the floor, then grow quieter and finally stop completely. She went back to her bed, lay down on it, and began to cry. Crying was really all she had done for two weeks now. Ever since Ein had- No she wouldn't think about that. It was too much. Ed's cries became sobs.  
  
"Edward wants Ein! Come back to Ed!" she sobbed as tears coursed down her face in a steady torrent. There was no sound of anything at all. She knew her wish would never be granted, and yet she continually asked for it. It was a horrible cycle. Ed sobbed even harder for the very thing which had caused her to lose Ein: her love for him. If only she had not gone near the ledge in the basement this would never have happened. As one could guess, she had disobeyed her conscience and gone down near it to play with Ein. That was the start of it all.  
  
"It's all Edward's fault. Ed is sorry Ein!"  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"Come on Ein! Let's play!" Ed chuckled as she scooped up the corgi and raced down the hall. It was just another day for her onboard the bebop. Spike and Faye were fighting, Jet was working on his trees, and everything was pretty much okay. After a few hours of hacking, Ed had gotten bored and had gone off to play with her favorite welsh corgi. Now she was running down the hallways of the engine room towards the upstairs area of the ship. Soon she would be at the top where she could play with Ein in peace without being disturbed. Ein yelped slightly, but allowed himself to go with the girl. Eventually, Ed stopped on a high up platform in the basement and set him down. She giggled and began to play with him, chasing him around the ledge, always using just enough speed so that she stayed just behind him.  
  
"Woof!" Ein uttered a high pitched bark as he was chased. Eventually Ed tackled him and began to tickle his face. The corgi scratched at the air with his paws and sneezed in rapid succession. Ed smiled. She had read that sneezing rapidly was a dog's way of laughing. She scooped him up and began to spin around, swinging Ein around in wide circles.  
  
"Ein will learn to fly!" she laughed and flung the corgi into the air. Ein uttered terrified shrill barks as he went sailing head over heels into the air. Ed ducked under him and caught him in her hands. Ein was trembling a little, but he was alright. "Ein go flying again!" she laughed and flung him into the air again. This time he howled. Ed caught him again and grinned evilly at him. "Ein will fly one last time!" Ein tried his best to squirm out of her hands, but Ed was much stronger then she looked. She spun around and sent Ein flying. This time however, the corgi went flying not into the air but to the side. Ed's expression became one of fear as Ein sailed over the edge, howling. She dashed forward to attempt to catch him, but she was too late. Ein went flying off of the ledge and to the ground below. Ed's fear became terror as the corgi landed on the ground below with a sickening crack. Ed dashed downstairs to help her friend.  
  
The sight before her was unbearable. Ein was lying on his side whimpering, a puddle of blood spreading underneath him. Ed screamed. At the far end of the room, a door banged open.  
  
"Ed what is it?!" Jet called. He looked into the dim room and at first he saw nothing, and then he saw what Ed was screaming about. He went to the corgi and looked at him. Ein had been pretty badly hurt. He turned Ein over and saw with dismay that one of the dog's ribs had punctured the side of his stomach. Jet glanced from the animal to the howling Ed and back again. He turned to face the hacker.  
  
"What happened?" he asked slowly.  
  
Ed began to cry. "Edward was just playing with Ein and she made Ein fly and Ein went over the ledge thing and hit the ground and- and-" Ed's words were lost in her gibbering sobs. Jet was aghast, but he was not surprised. He had seen how Ed played with Ein and he had always had a gut feeling that this would happen at one point. He picked Ein up and walked out of the room with him. Ed did not follow him.  
  
"The last cigarette was mine you bitch!" Spike roared from the dining room.  
  
"Too bad lunkhead. I got it, you didn't. You snooze, you lose." Faye chuckled, puffing on the cigarette. She sounded like a child who had taken the last cookie from a cookie jar and refused to share it. Just before Spike could lunge at her, Jet entered the room with a battered Ein in his arms.  
  
"Spike! We need to get to a vet!" he said in a rather urgent tone.  
  
"Why?" Spike asked. His question was answered as Jet showed him the bleeding corgi. Spike's stomach lurched. Faye gasped and the cigarette she had been smoking fell out of her mouth.  
  
"What happened?" he asked.  
  
"There isn't time to explain! Just get him to a vet!" Jet roared. Something in Jet's voice made Spike approach his comrade and pick up the bleeding animal. He walked to the hangar when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked back to see Ed looking at him.  
  
"Ed wants to come." she whispered. Spike's first intention was to tell her to stay home, but his sympathy for Ein and the look of concern on Ed's face made him nod his head. Spike and company walked to the hangar of the bebop and into the cockpit of the Swordfish II. Ed had to sit on Spike's lap because there was only one seat. Spike wished she didn't have too, but he didn't have much of a choice now. He started up the ship and took off.  
  
When their turn finally came, Spike and Ed walked into the doctor's office. The veterinarian stood before them, his face grave.  
  
"What happened to him?" he asked. Ed explained everything as best as she could. It was difficult to talk as she was still sobbing, but she managed to speak clearly enough for the man to understand.  
  
"I understand. I'll have to take him into the back room to look at him." Spike nodded. The man picked Ein up and carried him into the back room of the office. Spike and Ed waited with baited breath. It was only fifteen minutes, but to them it seemed like an hour. It wasn't easy waiting for somebody to tell you how badly hurt one that you loved was. At long last, the veterinarian came out.  
  
"I'm afraid it's bad news. His ribs are broken and one of them punctured his lung slightly. It doesn't look good for him, but there is a slim chance I can fix him. I will have to keep him overnight though. I'll give you the verdict in the morning." he said. Spike sighed and nodded his head. Ed, who had tapered off to sniffles, began to cry again. Spike led her out of the room and back to the Swordfish II. When they got back, they were greeted by an anxious looking Jet and Faye.  
  
"So how is he?"  
  
"They said they'll have to keep him over night. I don't think it looks good, but we can only hope." Spike said. He wondered why he had said that. It wasn't like him to be worried about Ein. As far as he was concerned, Ein could jump off a cliff for all he cared. So why was he feeling sympathy for the dumb dog? He didn't care. What he did care about was eating. He was starving.  
  
That night at dinner, Ed did not eat a bite. She did not even look up at them. Jet couldn't blame her. The thought of losing one that she loved so dearly must be unbearable for her.  
  
"Edward isn't hungry." she muttered, pushing her plate away.  
  
"C'mon Ed. You have to eat something." Faye said.  
  
"No. Ed is not hungry."  
  
Jet sighed. "Your worried about Ein aren't you?" he said.  
  
"Yes. Ed wants Ein to live." Jet had a feeling that the corgi wouldn't make it, but he wasn't going to tell Ed that.  
  
"I'm sure he'll make it Ed. He's a survivor." Jet said.  
  
Ed sighed and walked off. As she left the table, Jet heard her mutter "It's my fault."  
  
"It's not your fault Ed. It was an accident." Again Jet was lying. In his mind Ed was the cause of it all. She should have known better then to play on the ledge in the basement and she had anyway. Even worse, she had been throwing Ein around again. Why shouldn't she be blamed?  
  
Ed turned towards the ex-cop. She looked at him with a look of concern in her eyes. Then she walked away, sniffling. Jet turned back towards his comrades.  
  
"Do you really think he'll make it?" Faye asked. Jet said nothing. That was the only answer they needed. The bebop posse finished their dinner and went to bed. Ed did not sleep a wink that night.  
  
The next morning, Spike went out early in the morning to see what the verdict was on Ein's condition. He too had a feeling that he was gone, but he wouldn't tell Ed that. She had already cried her eyes out and anymore shock might cause her to lose it completely. He knew she was worried. Last night when he had snuck down the hall to check on her, he had seen that tears were still dripping from her eyes in her sleep. That wasn't a good sign. He climbed into his ship and flew off.  
  
When Spike arrived at last at the vet's office, the veterinarian he had seen before was waiting for him, his face grim. Spike sighed.  
  
"He's dead isn't he?" he said.  
  
"I'm sorry. We did everything we could for him, but it wasn't any use. His lung was punctured to greatly for us to do anything. We had to put him to sleep so he wouldn't suffer." Spike sighed again. He had been expecting this to happen. Still one thing confused him. Why was he still feeling sympathy for the dog? He had hoped to feel joy, but instead he felt depression. Sure Ein had done a lot of things to cause Spike to dislike him. He had chewed up his clothes, stolen his food, tripped him when he woke up in the night, even bitten him once, all of them offenses in Spike's book. So why didn't he feel good?  
  
"I understand. At least you tried." Spike said. The man nodded his head and walked off. Spike left the office and flew back to the ship. Ed was waiting for him in the doorway.  
  
"Is Ein alright?" she asked. Spike did not know what to say.  
  
"You should sit down Ed." Spike said. Ed took a seat on a couch nearby. "I really don't know how to tell you this Ed. They did everything they could and-"  
  
"And what?"  
  
"Well, they had to put him to sleep."  
  
"Ein is only sleeping? Ed relieved."  
  
"No. I mean the sleep you don't wake up from. He was suffering and they had to put him to sleep forever. I'm sorry Ed." Ed just gaped at him for a moment. Then she fainted. Spike grabbed her and shook her but she did not come to. Spike went to the cabinet and got some alcohol from the cabinet. He poured some into a small glass and went to Ed. He lifted her head up, opened her mouth and poured the liquid into her mouth. The girl suddenly gagged and began to stir.  
  
"Bad taste." she muttered and awoke. Then her face shattered like a mirror and she was lost in a storm of tears. Spike set her down on the couch. Ed quickly got up and walked off to her room, sob after sob escaping her mouth.  
  
"It's my fault he's dead. If Edward hadn't gone near the ledge Ein would have lived!" she moaned to herself as she closed the door, locking it. For the next two weeks, she did not leave her room save for when her bladder had to be voided. She did not eat, she did not sleep. All she did was cry throughout the entire day. She would never leave her room or let anybody else see her for that matter. All the while she would mutter "It's my fault." all day and all night.  
  
*END FLASHBACK*  
  
Ed puller her face from her pillow. It was saturated with tears. Ed was still crying, but she wasn't sobbing anymore. "My fault. It's my fault." she whispered. She felt her bladder filling and she walked off to the bathroom. After she was finished, Ed went back to her room. She wanted nothing to do with the outside world anymore. Not without her beloved Ein. He was all that mattered to her. Without him, life had no meaning. When she got to her room, she found Spike waiting for her on her bed. For a moment they just stared at each other like gunfighters in a western movie. Then Ed broke the silence.  
  
"Get out." she growled, her voice so low it was like hearing the growl of a tiger. Normally, Ed's anger would have sent Spike running, but not this time. He was going to help her and he was not going to be driven off this time.  
  
"No." he said in an equally low voice. Ed's eyes widened in shock. Had Spike really said no to her? She had never seen him act like this when she was angry. When she was angry, Spike would leave the room as quickly as he could. So why was he not doing that? Ed's eyes narrowed into narrow slits.  
  
"Ed said get out!" she warned, rolling up her sleeves. Spike tensed. He knew from personal experience that Ed was crazy enough to attack him, but he wasn't going to strike her if she did. Hitting kids was not something he agreed with, even if he didn't like them.  
  
"I'm not leaving until you leave your room Ed. You have to get over his death. It couldn't be helped and it's not your fault. It was just the way things went." Spike ducked out of the way as Ed threw a kick at him with a roar of rage. Ed whirled on him with animal like speed and threw a punch. Spike blocked it, doing his best to take the incredible pain shooting up his arm. Ed was incredibly strong despite how skinny she looked. Spike dashed back as another kick sailed his way. He made it to the hallway and got a look at the hacker. Her eyes were narrow slits, revealing only a small bit of color, her lips drawn back in a snarl. Ed roared again and lunged at him.  
  
"Get out now! Leave Ed alone!" she shrieked and finally managed to hammer Spike in the stomach with her fist. He doubled over and fell back. Ed jumped into the air and came down at him, her elbow out to nail him in the ribs. Spike rolled to one side as she slammed into the floor. Ed grunted and threw another punch at the bounty hunter. Spike realized he was going to have to knock her up a bit if he wanted to escape unhurt. Grimacing, Spike drew back his hand and dodged yet another kick. Before Ed could recover, Spike slapped her across the face with all the force he could muster.  
  
It all seemed to happen in slow motion. Ed's face rocked backwards and she froze. She clutched her face where Spike had struck her and stared at him in complete disbelief he had hit her. Spike looked back at her, pain in his eyes. He had not wanted to do that. Ed looked down towards the ground and sniffled. Then she threw her head skyward and began to bawl. Spike clutched her to his stomach.  
  
"Shh, it's alright. Calm down." he whispered. Ed just continued bawling into his stomach. Spike rocked his body back and forth a bit, hoping to calm her down. For a few minutes Ed just stood there wailing and shivering in Spike's arms. Then at last her cries became hiccups and she looked up at the bounty hunter.  
  
"Ed is sorry." she whimpered. Spike smiled.  
  
"It's alright kiddo. I've been through worse." he said, although his stomach did ache. He went into Ed's room and sat down on the bed. "Come here Ed." Spike said, patting his lap like a parent would to a small child. Ed cringed.  
  
"Don't hit me anymore!" she whimpered.  
  
"Why would I hit you? I don't hold with hitting kids. I just want to talk." Ed walked over to her bed and sat down on it.  
  
"What does Spike person want?" she asked.  
  
"To talk to you about Ein. I think you might need some help getting over his death and I want to help." Spike replied. Ed forced a small smile and listened. "I know what you're going through Ed. It's difficult losing a loved one."  
  
"Edward misses Ein. It's Ed's fault he died." Ed hiccupped and began to cry yet again. Spike lifted her face upwards so she could look in his eyes.  
  
"It's not your fault he's dead. You didn't kill him".  
  
"But Ed threw him over the edge! How can Ed be innocent?" she said through her sobs. Spike stroked her hair.  
  
"Stop crying. Tears cannot bring anybody back." Ed sniffled and forced herself to stop. "It was an accident, that's all. You didn't intentionally throw him over the edge. If you had, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now and if we were, it would be about you yourself instead of your grief." Spike continued on with his words. "I know what it's like losing somebody you love. Do you know what it was like when I lost Julia? It was painful. It was even worst when I found out she had gone off with Vicious. It was a lot for me to take, but I didn't cry over it. I did feel bad about it, but I kept myself together."  
  
"Spike person can feel pain too?" Ed asked. "But Spike person is always under control of himself."  
  
"Oh I didn't mean it that way. I cried a bit when I lost my mother when I was growing up. Not as much as you are over Ein, but definitely enough to show I loved her. But like everybody does at one point, I got over it and moved on with my life. I mean, nobody can grieve forever."  
  
"But Ed loved Ein! How can Ed forget about him?"  
  
"I don't mean you have to forget him. He'll be with you in your memories. I still think of my mother from time to time. I never forgot about Julia either. You just have to fight it and accept the fact that he's dead and move on. You still have your memories, don't you?" Spike asked. Ed hugged him tightly and gently cried into his shoulder. Spike rubbed her back and was about to leave when Ed let go and looked at him in the face. Spike saw she was smiling through her tears, and this time it wasn't a forced one.  
  
"Thank you Spike person. Ed feels better now." she said. Spike smiled and walked out of her room.  
  
"And next time, don't get so worked up okay? You sure hit hard." he said over his shoulder. Ed giggled and turned on her computer. She smiled as the screen slowly came up. She flexed her fingers and began to write up another program. When she was done, she downloaded it and waited for a minute or two for the screen saver to come up. When it came up, it was different. It depicted a panting welsh corgi with a red collar around his neck. Written underneath him were the words "Dedicated to Ein. What a smart dog."  
  
Ed smiled as tears of joy and relief coursed down her face. "Goodbye Ein. Edward will miss you." she whispered. She put on her goggles and disappeared into the internet.  
  
Owari.  
  
Authors note: I myself have never suffered the loss of a pet, but the idea of losing a loved one just appealed to me. And after watching how Ed plays with Ein in the show, I decided to see what would happen if her way of playing ended his life and how she would take it. Spike probably wouldn't be this sympathetic, but I had to make it that way to fit the storyline. Hope you like it. Review if you would please. 


End file.
